I don't think I have the strength to be with you. My feelings are hurt without you doing anything intentional. Most of my daily choices are questioned with "Will this start an argument later?" That's no way to live. No one should have that much power or influence over me. Next week you are leaving town for a month and when you return I will be on vacation. Before we know it, Fall will pass and your plans to relocate out of state will take affect...what am I supposed to do? Do I just go with the flow until you move? Do we work on "us" and hope that the thought of being so happy together will result in us moving together? Or do I cut off ties now and hope to be friends later on down the road? The thought of you not being in my life makes me my heart sink, but my walls are up. So much damage has been done and the posibility of letting you back into my world just to break my heart is terrifying. My inner fighter is pulling for us but reality is taking over. I don't have the strength to be with you..all over again.
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