Thursday, July 30, 2009

Not on a plane, but in a train

Last night I dreampt I was traveling with an exboyfriend through the desert on a train. Our window view was sand for days and days but there were so many stops along the journey. At each station we saw someone we knew from the past when we were a couple but as the stops started getting more frequent we each started seeing people we met after we broke up. At the last stop, I noticed a band on his left ring finger. I asked him who that was from and he explained that it was from his current girlfriend...who had just got up to use the bathroom. I woke up immediately.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I have a headache...

Must lay off the candy, coffee and fake cheese!
It's all water and green tea from here on out...I'm back on the wagon.

Puppets (Amended) - Atmosphere

I think it's great how you used to be great...

"A lot of pressure in the middle of those shoulders
And we ain't gettin' nothing but older
Ain't nothing change but the day we run from
But nobody knows that better than you, huh?..."
(I Love Slug-o)



Why do boys run away? Too much pressure in the middle of those shoulders, perhaps? I keep finding the same type of man over and over again...interesting.

A relationship, as I knew it, ended yesterday. There were so many beautiful aspects about it...from the way we met at a bar without exchanging numbers then randomly meeting on the street the very next day...to the night we broke up under a tree in the rain with a tornado siren sounding in the distance.

Magical. But it had to end.

I've always known that if you are scared of losing someone, they are probably worth keeping around.
I tried and I lost him...more than once.

Last night, his arms posed as shelter from the raindrops that fell through the leaves of the tree we stood under. No words were spoken, just long stares into each others souls as we held one another...memorizing each others faces as if it were the last time we'd be this close. We knew it would be.
It was emotional, yet amazing.
As we exchanged one last long squeeze, he whispered "I Love You." The wind picked up, the thunder crashed, the rain poured in sideways flooding the streets and our shelter weakened...just as our relationship did. Our fingertips clasped, we kissed and yelled through the storm "I Love You" one last time before running our separate ways into the dark.

Fin.

What a dramatically confused lover he was...I'm gunna miss him.

Monday, July 20, 2009


...where can I find some? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Ahhhh...

Man I feel so at ease. I've let go of some of the most negative people in my life and it feels amazing. I had no idea that the reoccurring nightmares, the anxiety and the feeling of needing to crawl out of my f*cking skin all stemmed from them...her...the people I used to turn to for anything. It's all gone now...I can finally breathe.